First attempt at writing a song

Since one of my goals for 2010 was to write a song, I thought I’d give it a shot on this lovely / gloomy San Francisco day.

Loving Space

Here are the full lyrics for “Loving Space”:

I just wish I could do something for you
But I know I can’t
The delusions of a warm embrace
The instant fire when my lips touch your face
It’s attachment
Emotion, packed, spirits, love
Attachment

I flew 10,000 miles, all the while
Trying to give you loving space
Through distance and time
I thought our love would climb
Instead, I saw clearly

You were in pieces, shattered and scattered
But I didn’t care
The hope that we could be forever
Without being together, no matter
We deserve better than
Attachment

I flew 10,000 miles, all the while
Trying to give you loving space
Through distance and time
I thought our love would climb
Instead, I saw clearly
Take it easy
Baby can you see me
Take it easy
Can you see me

Even in your darkest place
You could count on my loving space
I would climb down those trenches
Brace the defenses
But I realized I love me more

I flew 10,000 miles, all the while
Trying to give you loving space
Through distance and time
I thought our love would climb
Instead, I saw clearly
Take it easy
Baby can you see me
Take it easy
Can you even see me?

I flew 10,000 miles, all the while
I’ll give you loving space

New Years Goals 2010

Leap & Land

2010 is the year of leaping into the unknown and landing into the next great challenge. It’s about taking risks, following your heart, listening to the universe, and opening your eyes to the signs that are guiding you to the next level. I don’t think 2010 is going to be easy.

I think 2010 is going to be a very practical year–a year of rolling up our sleeves and getting things done. If you think of 2009 as the year of preparation, then 2010 is the year of action. And we all know that sometimes it’s not easy to take action. Fear, self-doubt, and distractions will get in the way. But whatever is in store for us in 2010, know that we were born to be there and to take them on.

So I propose that we all take a leap this year. Leave procrastination and fear back in 2009. Do something that you may have been too afraid to do or that you’ve been putting off. Open up your options, make some positive choices, and do something for yourself. Take a leap, and I promise you that you’ll land somewhere amazing.

Alex gave me the "Passion" Angel Card for 2010, and I think it's appropriate

As I do every year during my reflection time, I started by re-examining my goals and values from last year and then brainstorming new goals that fit with my revised personal values. I did not change my personal values at all and have created 10 new goals for 2010.

Personal Values

• Challenging Adventures - I live for new and challenging experiences, whether that’s professionally or personally, with others or in another country. The thrill of adventure stimulates my soul.
• Contribution to the World - I live to make lasting, positive impacts on society’s most pressing problems.
• Expressing Creativity - Being able to express myself artistically, musically or professionally keeps me inspired.
• Lifelong Learning - I love to learn. I am energized by the steady and deliberate journey from ignorance to competence to mastery.
• Quality - I choose to live a full and quality life, which is neither excessive nor is it below my standards of excellence.
• Family & Friends - Above all, my life is about the people I choose to journey with. They are my heart.

New Years Goals 2010

1. Go on a spiritual journey
2. Take a GIGANTIC risk
3. Get more involved and make a positive impact in the gay community by doing some gay rights advocacy work
4. Learn how to write music and then write a song
5. Build something with my hands
6. Continue improving my Tagalog comprehension and speaking skills
7. Deepen my spiritual practice (yoga, Catholicism)
8. Read at least 8 new books
9. Connect with my international relatives at least once a month
10. Continue spending time with family members

It’s going to be a phenomenal year, and I can’t wait to face it head on. So here’s to leaping and landing into all of the goodness in store for 2010!

End of the Year Check-in 2009

The goal is just a blip. I was reminded about that at yoga. When you master your mind you’ll realize the pose (e.g. your goal) doesn’t matter. Getting fixated on a goal closes our minds to all other possibilities of surpassing that small blip (the goal). Dropping the fixation lets us move through the world with greater ease, and gives us a better capacity to help others. Goals are useful, but they’re not the end-all and be-all.

2009 was my year of the Epic Journey. There were so many blessings this year that that acted like a domino effect. When one door opened, yet another window opened. It was a journey into receiving a ton of love from the universe and from God. It was sometimes heart-wrenching, other times incredibly joyful, but through it all, I definitely felt loved and gave love. I deepened friendships to levels that I didn’t know existed, and I formed family bonds that I only dreamed of. In a word, 2009 was a blessing. Here’s a quick run down of the events:

• Getting my citizenship!!!
• Lots of traveling! Two trips to Chicago, two trips to DC, two trips to Vegas, and two trips to LA
• Epic trip to the Philippines with my brother
• Grandmother’s 80th birthday in the Philippines
• Cousins bonding trip to Bohol Island
• Amazing trip to Australia
• Cousin Michael’s Wedding in Sydney
• Karla’s wedding to herself in DC
• Rap directing at USC again with Salina and UC Merced with Danny
• GLAAD Media Awards with Jim Freeman and Professor Ben (Robert Gant) from Queer as Folk
• Intimate 10 Year High School Reunion with JARK
• Natasha’s Trojan Wedding
• Singing in a trio at SFGMC’s Home for the Holidays concert on my birthday!
• Attending Memorial services for Michael Jackson and old high school teacher, Ms. Van Hunnick

Here’s my annual update on New Years Goals from 2009:

1. Spend more time with family members - Absolutely, yes!
2. Improve my Tagalog comprehension and speaking abilities so that I can hold a conversation with my grandmother - Yes!
3. Get more involved and make a positive impact in the gay community by doing gay rights advocacy work - No, this was one of the goals that I wish I wanted to do, but sadly just didn’t commit to.
4. Improve my singing abilities and sing a solo at a concert - Yes, sort of. At SFGMC’s Holiday Concert, I sang in a trio.
5. Do relief work in a developing country - No, another one of those timing things.
6. Fall in love and be in a committed, loving relationship - Sort of. Definitely was heartbroken.
7. Strengthen myself spiritually, mentally, and physically by practicing yoga more deeply and seriously - Yes! I practiced almost 3 times a week

Out of my eight goals, I accomplished about six of them. Again, I realized this year that I did not focus so much on the actual goals, but the journey that I took. And what a journey it has been. Any year where I spend more than 25% of it on a sabbatical, live 2 out of 12 months out of the country, and get my American citizenship after 19 years is automatically an awesome year… probably one of the best ever.

How exactly will 2010 be able to top 2009? I’ve got some ideas already in mind, and if all goes according to plan, then 2010 could be even more epic.

Farewell 2009, you have been amazing and full of surprises, and 2010, I welcome you and all of your challenges and promises with open arms!

The Year 2009 in Pictures

Shifting Education into the 21st Century

A few weeks ago, I listened in on a webinar entitled “Lessons from Abroad: International Standards and Assessments” presented by Stanford professor and renowned education researcher Linda Darling-Hammond (I also attended the Kerner Forum at Stanford a year ago where she was the keynote speaker). It’s been a busy few months since I came out of my sabbatical, and I’ve focused a lot on work and the efficacy of what we do, so I was interested to hear more about international education standards.

Overall the presentation was quite eye-opening, especially in regards to America’s archaic and sometimes obsessive focus on results, to the detriment of actual student learning. She points out that while most US standardized tests (think SAT, ACT, CAHSEE, ABCDEFG…) are designed to assess whether students learned what they were taught in school and focus on recall and recognition of facts, there are a set of international tests designed to assess if students can “apply what they’ve learned to new problems and situations, focusing on inquiry and explanations of ideas.”

How novel.

She goes on to mention how schooling evolved through the ages from “The School of the Church” in the middle ages to the Industrial Age’s emphasis on educating for discipline. It made sense back then because workers in factories and other industrialized functions required routine manual and cognitive behavior to be successful. But the demand for skills changed, especially over the last 20 years with rapid growth in technology, social and cultural contexts.

The education challenges today and in the future are to prepare motivated and self-reliant young people to analytically think and interact via multiple mediums.

Welcome to the Knowledge-based Society, kid.

So what can be done to take our slow and bureaucratic education system to the next level – to prepare our youth to be competitive for the knowledge-based society?

1) Improve the use of technology in schools – Remember your school’s computer lab? Get rid of it! I envision a future where students don’t have to go to a lab to access computers, where the technology is built into every classroom and seamlessly integrated into the learning experience. Imagine if teachers used technology to have real-time student assessments so that they can adjust their teaching techniques and styles as quickly as their students can text their classmate across the room.

2) Institute summers of service – Americans need to stop wasting summers! I don’t necessarily think we should have year-round schools, but I imagine a future where instead of wasting away at home playing video games, students are engaged in summer learning activities, like community service or entrepreneurial endeavors. Check out this cool start-up social venture that shows amazing promise for this initiative: Summer Advantage.

3) Invest in recruiting, retaining, and developing teachers – By strengthening the professionalism of the teaching force, teachers will not only get the training that they need to continuously grow, but teachers will also want to stay in their profession. There are interesting models out there that are experimenting with performance-based pay for teachers, most notably in Washington, DC and Singapore, and while I don’t know if that specific change will create the desired results, I do know that teacher compensation needs to rise to that of comparable civil servants.

4) Institute leadership training for principals and school leaders – Outstanding principals drive schools, teachers and students to achieve better results. School leadership is an important and sometimes misunderstood piece of the education puzzle. At a meeting with a principal at one of our partner schools recently, she constantly joked around about how tough her job was and how her marriage was at stake because of all of her responsibilities. Yet the culture and tone that the principal sets impacts the quality of instruction, the development of staff, and orderly administrative tasks. Because it can be lonely at the top, principals should routinely collaborate with colleagues and receive leadership training from seasoned coaches.

5) Implement assessments to inform investments & improvement rather than to deny diplomas and sanction schools – This last one is a Linda Darling-Hammond staple, as I have heard her say it at several events. Because of No Child Left Behind, American assessments are obsessed with results. “Assessment systems should support the learning of everyone in the system, from students and teachers to school organizations and state agencies.” School systems need to take back the power of assessments so that they can be used positively.

Anyway, there’s my end-of-the-year rant on the education system. Click here to read more about the Darling-Hammond’s webinar.

Which of the five improvements above do you think will be the most important for the next generation of education? Or do you have an idea for an improvement I didn’t mention?

Pushcart Classroom Earns Filipino CNN’s Hero of the Year Award

Pushcart Classroom

It’s not too often that I hear good news coming from the Philippines. But recently I was inspired by a story about a Filipino man who was awarded CNN’s Hero of the Year. Efren Peñaflorida grew up in poverty-stricken Cavite City near Manila. His experience growing up surrounded by gangs and violence inspired him to divert kids from similar situations. Eventually he and his friends started Dynamic Teen Company to reach out to slum kids by conducting classes on the streets using specially designed street pushcarts. His pushcarts, rather than holding food and other goods, held a chalkboard, books and other classroom supplies.

In this time of thanks giving, I’m reminded how fortunate Americans are. The state of our education system, albeit not perfect, is at least a democratic attempt at making sure all children are getting the education that they deserve.

Efren Peñaflorida reminds us, “We should all start the change from within. All of us, we should open our minds and hearts to accommodate to the needs of the less fortunate and release the hero within. We are all capable of contributing to our community and to our country.”

Read more about his story on HuffPost and Asian Journal.

What I learned from remodeling kitchens with my dad

“Pass me the screws,” my dad said with a power drill in his right hand and a beautifully crafted overhead kitchen cabinet propped up against his left shoulder. I picked up a few screws from the tool bucket on the ground, handed them to my dad, and helped him shoulder the burden of the heavy wooden cabinet. Generally the heavier the cabinet, the better quality it is, and this cabinet was top-of-the-line. The tough edge of the front of the cabinet dug roughly into my thirteen-year-old shoulder, and I pushed it up as hard as I could with my little hands.

The first screw forcefully squealed into the wood backing as it made contact with the stud behind the drywall. Dad placed another screw through the back of the cabinet and another loud squeal attacked our ears. Four squeals later, and the cabinet was securely installed in the corner of this old kitchen. The home itself was probably built in the 1970’s judging by the ochre-tinted appliances and plainly “modern” facades of the light avocado-shaded cabinets.

Every few minutes the owner of the home, a gaunt African-American lady in her 50’s or 60’s, would peak into kitchen to observe our progress. Because she was tall, I could easily feel her presence as she supervised the remodeling project, and her gaze on the back of my head felt like hot nails. As a self-conscious thirteen year old, I tried as much as possible to avoid eye contact with her for fear that she might ask me a question, so whenever she was around, I would turn my back to unbox another big cabinet or to put away scattered tools.

“Go get the second cabinet. The smaller one that goes above the cooking range,” my dad ordered.

Casually I sauntered to the garage to sort through a maze of cardboard boxes and new kitchen cabinets. The summer heat permeated the old garage and heightened the aromatic mixture of finely crafted oak and ripped-apart cardboard. Cabinets that came up to my waist and others that were taller than the reach of my outstretched arms were strewn about in a methodical madness. The mess created a miniature metropolitan skyline. I weaved in and out of the imaginary city streets. Boxes and cabinets were skyscrapers that created thoroughfares and alleyways, and for a moment I pretended I was a messenger delivering an important package to a downtown firm. Zip. Zoom. Dive.

“Huuuyyyy. Nasaan ka? Hey. Where are you?” my dad shrieked.

The daydream faded away and I was back in the overcrowded garage somewhere in Orange County. “What size is it again, dad?” I yelled back.

“The small one about four feet by two feet.”

After sifting through more boxes, I found it on top of what I had imagined was the city’s public library. I snapped the plastic ties off the box, swiftly released the little cabinet from its cardboard and styrofoam confines, and bear-hugged it through Main Street, all the way back to the kitchen.

“Is this it, Dad?”

“Oo, ilagay ito dito. Yes, place it here,” Dad ushered while gesturing at the empty spot next to the first cabinet.

Thud. Cabinet banged against the wall. Squeal. Screws forced in place. Snap-snap. Another one unboxed. Shimmy-shimmy. Cabinet dragged to the kitchen.

After examining the floorplan, I became slightly better at predicting which cabinet my dad would need next. In an attempt at being efficient, I lined them up from the garage to the kitchen, like wooden soldiers getting ready for battle. We repeated the cycle until the bare walls started to look like a kitchen again. Three hours and fifteen installed cabinets later, my dad said, “Pahinga na tayo. Let’s rest.”

I used my t-shirt sleeve to wipe the sweat from my brow, exhaled a sigh of relief, and wished that the lady would turn on the AC in her house. Dad sat down on a step stool, opened a large plastic Coleman container full of water and ice, and took four generous gulps of the cold refreshment. I collapsed myself on top of a bright orange toolbox, and dad passed me the Coleman and a pandesal (lightly sweet Filipino bread roll) with American cheese neatly encased in a plastic sandwich bag. I quenched my thirst desperately and inhaled the little pandesal in two bites. As we ate and rested, the old lady curiously poked her head through the open doorway to inspect our progress. She looked at the half-finished walls and then glanced at my dad. “It looks like it’s coming along really nicely,” she commented with a mischievous smirk, and then she placed her gaze on me, “it looks good. You did a good job.”

Sheepishly and with my eyes fixed on the unfinished cement floor, I replied, “Thank you.”

“So are you going to remodel kitchens too when you grow up? Are you going to follow in your dad’s footsteps?” she asked benignly.

I don’t remember quite how I responded to her, and it really doesn’t matter. I might have given her a half-smile and then looked away, but I distinctly remember what I thought the moment that she asked:

“No.”

~

I love my dad and honor him for the rigorous and relentless work ethic that he instilled in me. My brother, sister and I joined him all throughout our childhood years at different jobsites as he worked hard to establish himself and his small business as credible and high quality. I credit my dad for truly living and breathing the entrepreneurial spirit and the American dream, and inspiring me to work hard, challenge myself, and do my best. If it were not for the weekends, school holidays, and the summers that we spent tearing out old houses and creating beautiful masterpieces, I can easily say that I would not have been able to go to college or be an American citizen.

However, I knew it then, and I know it now: my path would lead me down a different direction. And although my thirteen-year-old self was vehemently opposed to following in his dad’s footsteps (because really, what thirteen-year-old would want to do that?), I can see now that I did not veer completely off. Yes, I work and have been working with youth in the educational nonprofit sphere for years, and my passion clearly is to positively change the lives of youth, but everyday I use the lessons I learned from working with my dad to remodel kitchens.

My dad, an architect by trade, taught me how to read blueprints and floor plans, which planted the seeds of my ability to be visionary in my approach to leadership and creativity. I observed how my dad efficiently organized the chaos of a jobsite from the shipping of all of the cabinets to the installation timeline, and I rudimentarily practiced efficiency and systems-building in customers’ homes. He treated his clients jovially, fairly, and assertively, and he was my first model of how to be a leader and an effective negotiator. He built houses that stood on a solid foundation, while I built curricula and programs that stemmed from a solid foundation.

See, although I’m not quite remodeling kitchens, I suppose I can answer that old lady’s question differently now. When I enter into a nonprofit organization, when I engage in a new project, or when I get my hands dirty on a new program, I take the same approach my dad taught me years ago. We took out the old things that were obsolete and unnecessary; we carefully, meticulously, and systematically replaced them with new and better things; we tested the things to make sure they worked; and then we made sure the clients were happy with the new things. You can replace “things” with anything: cabinets, curriculum, culture, core programs, operations, etc. And of course, you can add steps and other systems to fit the needs of the project or team better, but I digress.

If the old lady were here now, I’d tell her, “Yes, I am following in my dad’s footsteps,” and I’d also thank her. Her simple question stuck with me for over fifteen years. Back then I used it as fuel to study smarter, work harder, and achieve more in school so that I could go to college and become successful… So that I wouldn’t have to do manual labor again (let’s be honest, if you give a teenager the choice between manual labor or studying in a comfortable, air-conditioned room, he’d pick the latter). Even though I was not that enthusiastic about giving up weekends and summers to work with my dad and even though the manual labor was exhausting and physically draining, I now realize that my dad’s footsteps did not lead me astray. In fact, they led me to where I am today, and for that I’m extremely grateful.

I love you, Dad. Thank you!

Pictures from Week 2 of Australia Trip 2009

I can’t believe my Aussie trip down under is more than halfway done. I had all of these grandiose plans to visit other parts of the country (like Melbourne or the Great Barrier Reef), but alas, those plans did not come to fruition as I realized that the real reason why I am here is to spend time with my extended family. And I have done plenty of that so far while exploring ridiculously beautiful Sydney.

Week two was slightly more relaxed and chill than week one. I didn’t go on any 5-hour bike rides, but I did wander the city one day by train, bus and ferry (Good Lord, the view from the ferry was just amazing). And below, you’ll see pictures from Michael’s fun-filled Bucks Party (aka Bachelor Party), which took up the entire Saturday from 7:30 am (that’s when we started playing paintball… who plays paintball at 7:30 am??? Apparently Aussies do) to midnight, when we continued the party at his house with not one but TWO evening entertainers. To protect the innocent, I haven’t posted any scandalous pictures up, but I’m sure you can use your imagination.

And to top off the week, I took the twins, Jeff & Chris, to our first live footy (that’s what they call rubgy down here) game. The Sydney Roosters lost to the North Queensland Cowboys, and even though our home team lost, it was a great experience for all of us.

This week we’ll see a HUGE influx of family flying in from all over the world, including my parents, who I’m picking up tomorrow (I haven’t seen them since April, so we’ll be reunited, too. So this week is all about spending quality time with all of the family, and of course, the whole reason why we’re all here is Michael’s wedding to Charmie on Saturday. And then just like that, I’ll be whisked away to the US on Sunday and back to work at BUILD after a three-month sabbatical on Monday! Excited about getting back to my home and work, but not looking forward to leaving this beautiful place. Check out the pics below.

Painting of Sydney Harbour at Art Gallery of New South Wales

Went to Manly Beach, which is a 30-min ferry ride away from Sydney

Gorgeous day, but it was way too cold to swim

"Manly" was everywhere, and I couldn't resist...

Random Family Time

Sefton Playhouse... not my idea, promise

Delicious Japanese food with Kristie and Jeff

Eating Meat Pies (Really popular in Oz) with Beef, the dog

Kristie's lola's birthday party

Michael’s Bucks Party: Part 1 - Paintball Wars

Chris, Mike and Jeff are up really early to play paintball

So butch

That's Mike's Best Man shooting at him!

We played about 10 games at different fields. Quite the testosterone filled actvity!

Michael’s Bucks Party: Part 2 - Houseparty

He looks calm, doesn't he

Mike getting ready for the evening entertainment

Me, Jeff, Mike and Chris at Mike's Bachelor Party

Mike and Rick at Mike's Bucks Party

Live Rugby Game!

Me, Chris, and Jeff at the Roosters Rugby Game

Cowboy gets tackled

Rooster gets tackled

Waiting

Running

A "Scrum"

Pictures from Week 1 of Australia Trip 2009

Bondi Beach view

Overlooking Bondi Beach

Hannah’s 2nd Birthday Party

Hannah in the Jumping Castle

Hannah having fun

Hannah again

Cute Hannah

I couldn't resist putting this one up

Hannah blowing out her candles

Night out with the Twins

Opera House at Night

In front of the Opera House with Jeff and Chris

Opera House by Night

Biking with Tito Ompong

View from the Botanical Gardens

Opera House and Harbour Bridge

Tito Ompong biking on the Harbour Bridge

In front of Luna Park (those are giant teeth)

VIew of Harbour Bridge & Opera House from North Sydney

The fourth hour of riding around Sydney with Tito Ompong

Coogee Beach

Pictures from Week 1 of Philippines Trip 2009

So far my brother and I are having a great time in the Philippines with our family. I can’t believe a week has flown by, but we’ve done a lot! Check out some pictures below or on my Flickr account. You can also follow my tweets on Twitter.

Nanay Ising’s 80th Birthday Party

Family Potrait

Cousins

Roasted Cow (Lechon ng baka)

All Nanay's children and grandchildren in attendance

All of Nanay's children (except my dad!)

All of Nanay's grandchildren in attendance

Check out more pictures after the jump or on my Flickr…

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